The end of the tunnel is near

I'm at about 50% weight bearing and that is only after I've stretched my foot and ankle before I go for a stroll. I battle pushing myself and feelings of disappointment when I feel pain while walking on it. God consistently has been telling me to rest, don't rush and do not pick up the flesh that He has stripped away. I've learned so much in this season and as I am approaching the other end of this I am reminded to not fall back into what life looked like before my fall. My ankle is a wonderful example of what is happening to my spirit. Brokenness was necessary so that rest and reproof would give way to wisdom. However as physical healing takes place my flesh wants to pick up what has been stripped away. The want to clean, do for doings sake and not keep my focus on what glorifies God. My husband has been speaking on prayer the past three weeks at church and today he spoke about the church in acts. Prayer is what the disciples did immediately after Jesus ascended up into heaven. And then after going out and preaching the gospel three thousand believers were added to them. Then what did they do....

“They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”

Acts 2:42 

This is what God is calling us to. Being devoted to learning His word, being in fellowship with other believers, having meals together and praying!  To often we have made our ministry a complex thing when it is truly this simple. For me since my life drastically changed the day I broke my ankle I have been forced to rest in the Lord. Reading His word and attending bible study. I've been forced to fellowship because I need help. I have a different lady from the church at my house everyday and we fellowship. Along with that fellowship we break bread together at lunch time. And I'm learning I must not forsake prayer. I have to admit prayer is something I too often overlook. It has become convenient for me. I never want my relationship with Christ to become convenient. He should always be my first priority. So pursue the Lord and never pick up what has been stripped away.

Being Renewed

Recovery Day 26-Day 30

This week was one of seeking, finding, praying, listening, bible study, grace, peace, obedience and renewal. The Renew conference was very much an encouragement to me. Interesting enough that is what the Lord had me speaking on. Based on Hebrews 10:23-25 and Romans 1:11-13. We laughed, we cried and we were encouraged by the real life evidence of God working in our lives. The reminder to pray earnestly for God to reveal Himself to us was a blessing and Alicia Marie Garcia reminded us that God had a plan before the foundations of this earth was laid which gives us the knowledge that we can trust Him with all that we have.  Stay steadfast friends, stay steadfast.

Prayer is my Ladder

Recovery Day 20

All time low today. I'm going to simply be obedient in asking for prayer over my mind.

Recovery Day 21
Got outside today to sit and watch the kids play, ran to hobby lobby for more cards, listened to the kids sing how great though art randomly during play and was blessed by our elders wife. She came over and did some deep cleaning at my house and gave me a hair cut!!!! Put yesterday behind me and started anew today.

“Grace be with you all.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:25‬ ‭

Recovery days 22-23

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:1-2‬ ‭

The end of this week I have been in a pit of despair. I know the truth of God's love for me, that He provides peace and joy through all circumstances when our eyes are fixed on Him and I utterly failed to do just that. Instead I allowed lies to creep in. I listened to thoughts that my family would be much better without me. That my husband could find a wife better suited for him and for my daughters. Thoughts that went as far as take several left over pain pills could be my solution to this heartache I have felt for a while now. But God's grace abounded. His love for me came through the knowledge that those were just that, LIES. Lies that the evil one wanted me to believe. The truth is that God is working some things out in me. See in 5 days I am scheduled to speak at Renew (a women's conference) in salina Kansas to a group of women about encouragement. Yes please laugh out loud at the humor in that. Me, still trying to allow God to pull me out of the pit I've dug for myself am going to be used by God to speak encouragement into other women's lives. You can't say God doesn't have a scenes of humor. I'm excited to be a vessel He is still forming and I'm praying and believing that He will be glorified this Friday and Saturday as He pours out truth into these women's lives. Please simply pray for my flesh to be stripped away and for God to shine.

Recovery Day 24

“For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭92:4‬ ‭

I struggled with how I would react to what the doctor would say today. I didn't want to have a complete meltdown when he told me I would have the cast on for two more weeks and I didn't want to ball my eyes out because of sheer joy if he told me it was coming off. Then he came in and said we are taking that off today. I went into shock, and I'm pretty sure I told him I loved him. Yikes. I had decided in my mind that the cast would be around a while longer yet I knew there was a little hope that it could come off. But my focus was on my reaction not the small glimmer of hope that resided in my heart. Talk about gut check here.

Grace and mercy have been words that continually show up in the scripture that God has lead me to the past three days.  God's grace is beautiful and His mercy is always enough. See although I feel like this broken, bruised, puddle of a woman through this season of healing I know that God still loves me. He still looks upon me and sees His beloved daughter, beautiful creation and He knows that I will be feasting at His table someday in heaven. Glory to God in the highest forever and ever!!!!!

Recovery Day 25

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭

Let's Pray!!!!!!

A pit is being dug

Recovery Day 16

“For here we do not have a lasting city, but we are seeking the city which is to come.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:14‬ ‭

When we come to Jesus and say "here I am, do what you must do to be glorified" we should not be surprised when He works. The past couple of days I've been very concerned with what others think or may feel or react to a certain situation. Through this God is providing me the opportunity to grow and SEEK Him. When we take our eyes off Christ that is when we experience worry, anxiety, and unrest. But when we have an audience of One there is peace, love and rest. I'm learning through God's grace in these circumstances that living my life with the knowledge of what is to come (our eternal home with our Lord) brings so much peace.

Recovery Day 17
“Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:15‬ ‭

“Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And trust in the LORD.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4:5‬ ‭

For the past 3 years come December I start praying over a word God wants to use in my life for the coming year.  Sacrifice is my word this year. I have been studying it and praying what God has for me through it and I don't think He is done teaching me through this word? See when I first heard this word from the Lord last December I was floored. Sacrifice is a scary word. One that I know I was not jumping for joy to experience. What was sacrifice going to look like in my life in 2017?  However a lot of my study over this word has come back to praise. Praising the Lord. A sacrifice of praise is counted as greater than any physical sacrifice.

“"He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me;..."”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭50:23‬a

I know now that when I truly worship and praise the Lord with my life He is honored and glorified.  What does this look like? It looks like what I have been talking about through this entire season.

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:7-12‬

Recovery Day 18

“Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:20-21‬ ‭

The Lord has called me to a season of rest and although I am struggling to rest in Him this verse is like the softest pillow when I'm so very exhausted and the most amazing  sunrise or sunset that brings about a calming effect knowing that the Lord had me right where I needed to be so that I could see Him in all His glory. Deep breath in.....exhaling slowly. Awwwwwwwww......

Recovery Day 19

Let's be reminded to read this tomorrow morning.

The Warrior’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, Your warrior prepares for battle. Today I claim victory over Satan by putting on the whole armor of God!

I put on the Girdle of Truth!
May I stand firm in the truth of Your Word so I will not be a victim of Satan’s lies.

I put on the Breastplate of Righteousness!
May it guard my heart from evil so I will remain pure and holy, protected under the blood of Jesus Christ.

I put on the Shoes of Peace!
May I stand firm in the Good News of the Gospel so Your peace will shine through me and be a light to all I encountI take the Shield of Faith!
May I be ready for Satan’s fiery darts of doubt, denial and deceit so I will not be vulnerable to spiritual defeat.

I put on the Helmet of Salvation!
May I keep my mind focused on You so Satan will not have a stronghold on my thoughts.

I take the Sword of the Spirit!
May the two-edged sword of Your Word be ready in my hands so I can expose the tempting words of Satan.
By faith your warrior has put on the armor of God!

I am prepared to live this day in spiritual victory! AMEN!!

Dr. David Jeremiah

Recovery Day 20

All time low today. I'm going to simply be obedient in asking for prayer over my mind.

God is Chiseling

Recovery Day 11
“This expression, "Yet once more," denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:27‬ ‭

Can I get an AMEN!!!!

I'm feeling led to push into the nitty gritty of all this; meaning let's talk about the tough stuff. As a wife and mom and having the job of staying home I have been forced to ask other women to come take care of my household. Yes some have said get rest, relax take this time to allow others to bless you. And while I fully am embracing this, there are still those moments of battling my inner want to have control over my life. God and I have been working on this issue for some time and I think I have made some great progress. However this season has brought dealing with my control issue to a whole new level. I no longer know exactly where my dishes are, I'm not able to always go tuck my little girls into bed because of exhaustion, I don't sleep very well at night due to comfort, I have to ask and ask and ask for people to do things for me, I have to tell people where everything in my house is, my husband comes home tired from work and has to do all that I would normally do (yes I know as several have told me it's good for him but I'm his helpmate it's just hard to watch at times), and I have to watch my kids (that includes my nephews) cry from time to time because they want me to do something with them that I just can't physically do. Now I do not think God has lead me to write this for pity's sake; actually I feel that He is calling me to be real with you to tell you this so you know I am struggling, I am having times of heartache, I am human yea know.  I simply decided at the vary beginning I was not going to hold onto those thoughts, feelings or emotions because how will they glorify God? Sulking in my own self pity will not lead me to Christ. It only leads me to more sulking and sadness and darkness and I'm simply not going to go there.  Life is complicated and hard and stressful etc. etc. but God is in the thick of it and as Jeremy said on Sunday we must have our God glasses on at all times looking for Him in all that surrounds us. Because truthfully He is in all that is surrounding us!

Recovery Day 12

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:10‬ ‭

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men,”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:23‬

“Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe;”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:28‬ ‭

Today was an up and down day. Or I guess I should say an ok day, then not so ok, then ok kind of day.  I'm getting restless. The true problem with today is that I woke up and started my day with plans. Not plans to meet with the Lord the moment I opened my eyes. Plans to get some things accomplished. I desire to take my child to school and I believe I'm at the point I could do it. I want to get breakfast and lunch fixed for my kids and I believe I could do it. But did I stop to ask what God wanted. Did I remember in those not so ok times today to pray....NOPE.

I live with the Holy Spirit therefor I hold the power and strength of the Lord with me where ever I may go, or in my case sit. Ha ha. Today I was not doing all that I did for the Lord. And I was not grateful for God's truths of an unshakable kingdom to come and I did not serve Him in reverence and in awe.

Moral of the story...GET OVER YOURSELF RANDI!!!!  Seek first the kingdom of God. Have an audience of ONE.  All things work to together for the good of those who love the Lord.

Oh by the way the doctor told me that I grow bone like a pediatric patient. Meaning I grow bone back fast and the doctor was astonished. Yea yea doc that's not that big of a deal. The same God who created me with the ability to grow bone back fast.....created all things in 7 days, split the Red Sea, kept a man alive in a lions den, had a whale swallow a man and spit him out, turned water into wine, fed 5,000+ people with just a few loaves of bread and a couple fish, and concurred death!!!!  MIC DROP!!!!!

Recovery Day 13

“for our God is a consuming fire.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:29‬ ‭

Let's dwell on this one.

Recovery Day 14
“for our God is a consuming fire.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:29‬

“And to the eyes of the sons of Israel the appearance of the glory of the LORD was like a consuming fire on the mountain top.”
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭24:17‬ ‭

Today I'm allowing my flesh (selfish desires)to consume. The  Lord is ever present waiting for me to fix my eyes on His consuming fire. His glory can be seen all around me; if I would only be willing to put off my flesh. I must hand over my want to walk because it is getting in the way of me seeing His glorious flame. Here you go Lord. Take it and consume me!!!

Recovery Day 15

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:8

Praise the Lord, hallelujah, thank you Jesus. My own feelings and emotions can change at the drop of a hat but Jesus is the same; always. His love endures, his grace abounds, and his forgiveness is everlasting. My hope is so founded in this verse. As He is molding me during this season toward His ending goal of completion, I'm enduring. It doesn't look very pretty especially today when I just couldn't stop crying from heartache. But God was there. In my sadness, He was there. Giving me a peace because I knew He will never leave me and giving me joy through the knowledge that I have the body of Christ praying for me and loving on me. And of course a huge shout out to my Nikki (my best friend from college). She and I are kindred spirits. Living almost 250 miles apart we walk the same path day after day. Although physically apart our spirits hold hands every day. Good night friends.